NaPoWriMo 2018 Day 5 - Very loosely based on the prompt

Speakeasy

I remember before I remembered and I ‘me-mem-bed’
When I spoke like Kripke from The Big Bang Theory -
Played on ‘Gangags patty’ while he dug up ‘bootwoot’
And we ate ‘Gawibordi spickets’ with tea.
With 'w’s for ‘r’s and ‘r’s for ‘l’s,
Tripping and gabbling over my words
I still believed I could sing a rainbow -
All the weds, errows, pinks, gweens,
purpres, owanges and booze of it.
I still like the booze, bit.

NaPoWriMo 218 - More Day 4

a shit poem for shit day (grrr)

When you lick your Rizla the wrong way up
Then your baccy falls in your coffee cup
And you spill the whole mess all over your lighter
Take two - and you’ve rolled the damn thing too tightly.
When you get your tab lit, it sticks to your lip,
And you burn your twatting fingertips
And the poem you wrote about it doesn’t scan properly
And there isn’t a rhyme for that line, probably
Syntax reversing you are, like Yoda speaking
And your bastard pen is leaking

NapoWriMo 2018 -Day 4

Bearly awake

Inside the cave mouth’s gaping yawn 
A grizzly props heavy head in paw
A grateful grin skims slackening jaw
As growling snuffle slips to snore.

NaPoWriMo 218 - Day 3

Baking Band

Gerald and his pals needed to name their band of bakers, 
But Echo and the Bunny Men, and Bread (of course) were taken.
‘Gerry and the Piemakers!’ yelled out one eager chap,
The lads said ‘Aye, a name like that, but mebbe not as crap’.
They tossed around Limp Biscuit, Rolling Scones and Less Than Cake,
But decided these suggestions were too flaky and half-baked.
Stirred Tarter USM and Pastie Cline into the mix,
And someone said, 'The Fairies' (like the cakes) instead of Pixies...
Chaka Naan and Filo Green – no, none of them would do,
They churned over George Piechael, Buns and Roses, Chouxsie Choux...
They sifted through ideas till they were burnt out crusts of men,
Then one piped up, 'So, shall we go with Gerry and the Piemakers, then?'

NaPoWriMo 2018 - Day 2
(Inspired by, but not properly following today's prompt)

Flaming Go

We surf faster than the speed of Ceefax
See lack of facts wrapped in clickbait traps
You trip on fibre optic sound-bitten titbits
Slow to know the brass tacks, but fast on the attack
We see you and your cat-calling snap-chat
You chew beneath - sewer rats skewing fact
Spitting out your shit under virtual bridges
With banter clause excuses, you refuse to take the rap

NaPoWriMo 2018 - Day 1

Hardy Habit to Break

I’m a clandestine Tom Hardy fan
Though Tom’s sometimes a mardy man
But no-one rocks a cardigan
Like the marvellous Tom Hardy can.
So, Monet was a master of the arty farty
Speeding 'Back to the Future' was impressive, Marty
And there may well be no party like an S Club Party
But nothing's quite so thrilling as Tom Hardy in his cardy.

NaPoWriMo 2018

The Eve of the Storm

I,the undersigned,
being of absent mind, 
hereby half-heartedly
declare my decision
to compose a poem
each and every day
for the duration of April.

I request your kind indulgence
in this experimentation.
Please assist me by reading
these daily creations.
I ask only, that you will not
judge them too critically,
for my artistic fragility
cannot cope with such comments.

I faithfully testify
to fulfil this obligation
to the best of my ability,
but take no responsibilty
for the editorial quality
of my prolific compositions.

Yours, most sincerely
Jenni Pascoe.